NYCM Prompts:
Genre: Crime Caper | Location: A Carousel | Object: A toupee
[Round 2: 5th place]
Synopsis: Local criminal Tef is recruited into one of the strangest jobs of his pickpocketing career.
Resting his shoulder against the large boards of the Helter-Skelter, Tef took a long drag of his cigarette, the end sparking amber from the sudden suction. He exhaled in a cloud of hazy smoke. The murky shadows between the fairground rides was a perfect place to plot.
A pointed cough from behind announced the arrival of his contact. Tef straightened, turning to eye the uniformed police officer.
“Aright, guv?” Tef tugged on the brim of an imaginary hat.
“Shut up, Tef,” Officer Gregson scowled. “He’s here. You promise you can do this?”
“You know me. Teflon: nothing sticks.”
Gregson rolled her eyes. “Don’t get cocky. You have one shot – make it clean.”
“Just leave it with me, guv.”
Gregson looked anything but reassured. Blowing out her cheeks, she resumed her patrol of the fairground, leaving Tef to figure out the finer details of his strategy.
Officer Olivia Gregson had initially approached Tef all cloak-and-dagger about two weeks ago. Initially, Tef had wondered if this was some form of entrapment: steal the Chief Inspector’s toupee during his routine visit of the district. But Gregson has looked so pained that Tef heard out the rest of the ridiculous story. Apparently neither his family nor his colleagues could convince Chief Inspector Bauer how idiotic his hairpiece looked. Drastic measures were required. It was just crazy enough to pique Tef’s interest – once Gregson guaranteed no charges if he was successful.
The only problem was that Tef was a pickpocket. Sleight of hand and all that. Snatching something off someone’s head was… well, no one’s modus operandi. Did the good officer have any ideas?
And that was how Tef had come to discover the Chief Inspector’s penchant for old-fashioned carousels. Gregson revealed that Bauer made a point of arranging his district visit with the dates of Spencer’s Olde Travelling Fair. The noise and movement of the carousel would serve as a suitable distraction. Everything matched up. Almost like Gregson had planned all of this out already.
“I’ll get him to the fair,” Gregson had declared, grim-faced. “You just get the toupee.”
All of which was why Tef now stood opposite a beautiful antique carousel. Hand-painted and lovingly maintained, it had been the jewel of the fair for over seventy years. Its tinkling jaunty music wound throughout the attractions, providing a key note against which everything else resonated. A true classic.
And there was another classic. Alternatively known as Chief Inspector Bauer’s toupee. Tef let out a low whistle over just how horrendous it truly did look. This had to be a joke, surely. No one bought a toupee that bad or, if they did, thought to actually wear it. He was starting to understand Officer Gregson’s desperation in recruiting his skills.
Inhaling the last draw of his cigarette, Tef dropped the butt onto the ground before grinding it into the mud with the heel of his boot. Time to ride. Literally.
Only once Bauer had picked his worthy steed did Tef take up his position some way behind. He settled onto a galloping horse with flared red nostril and flowing golden mane, seizing up his mark. Young families scrambled onboard the ride but none paid any heed to Tef. He hid in plain sight.
Off the carousel went, beginning its staid rotation. The horses rose and fell along to the rhythm of the music. Simple, safe… sickening. With each passing minute, Tef felt his breakfast rise a fraction higher in his stomach. Round and round and round. His hand, once loose on the pole, now gripped tighter as he tried to maintain a sense of equilibrium. How the hell was he supposed to pull this off if he couldn’t even walk straight?
But he was going to have to try. If he wasn’t in perfect position when the ride stopped, his chance to pilfer the toupee would be gone.
Sliding from his mount, Tef inched his way forward along the cresting lines of horses, dodging around distracted parents and delighted children. First one row, then another, then… All of a sudden, the carousel juddered to a halt. One of the characteristics of a classic was how reliably unreliable it could be.
Staggering forward, Tef clattered against the horse just behind Bauer. The unexpected racket drew the Chief Inspector’s attention and he twisted around to investigate the source. Tef froze, sensing that all was lost…
“Dad!” Bauer was distracted by Gregson’s call. His head snapped back round. “Well, was it as good as last year?”
This was it! A redeeming opportunity. With a touch as gentle as a summer breeze, Tef snatched the toupee from Bauer’s head, the adhesive weakened by the man’s heavy sweating in the summer heat. By the time Bauer noticed, Tef would be long gone.
Now the hand-off. Stealing from a Police Chief Inspector was one thing, but holding onto the stolen item? This was not amateur hour. Gregson had begrudgingly agreed: she would destroy the toupee if Tef could steal it.
Except Bauer now unwittingly stood between them, preventing the successful transfer of the toupee.
He seemed to pick up on Gregson’s agitation, glancing in the direction of her dismayed stare.
“What are you looking at, Olivia?”
Shit!
Tef followed through on the only plausible course of action: he slapped the toupee over his own bald head.
Bauer’s gaze passed over him, initially finding nothing worthy of note, before snapping back. “That looks like—”
“Come on, Dad!” Gregson interrupted, drawing Bauer’s attention back to herself. “I know I’m on duty but I’m sure I can join you on one ride.”
No sooner had Bauer turned away than Tef slipped past, still swallowing against his roiling stomach. It didn’t matter though. Catching Gregson’s eye as she turned her father in the direction of the dodgems, a little of that sleight of hand saw the toupee passed from his possession into hers.
Tipping a salute towards Gregson, Tef made for the exit of the fairground, grinning widely. Another job pulled off.
C.A. Raine 